Life Lessons

There has been a controversy in our town. Our small little city made international news because a poor choice became public fodder for the Internet. I have a few thoughts on this:

I     I feel bad for everyone involved in this controversy: the Internet makes nearly everything we do public. Social media outlets allow small indiscretions to live in the fishbowl of the world. I feel for the people whose names are associated with this controversy – particularly the adults who will have this follow them throughout their careers.

2    An apology should always be sincere: I don’t think that something sounding similar to, “I am sorry that you were offended by what we did,” is an actual apology. The athletic director could have taken this truly offensive situation, apologized sincerely and let these girls come out shining. The team could have gone as a group and apologized to the other team or the principal. The headlines would have been so much different. I can imagine a world that hailed the AD for truly instilling a sense of respect for others and lauded the team for their efforts to ameliorate the situation instead of broadcasting what appeared to be blatant disrespect to the other team’s faith.

3     We all make mistakes: Not a one of us is mistake-free. It is unfortunate but also part of our new reality that so many of these are easily recorded in the virtual memory we call the Internet. It is important to remember that we all are human, but that we all are coachable – with good leadership and proper guidance.

4    No one should get a pass: While it isn’t OK to publicly shame those who make poor choices, no one should get a pass for crudely demeaning others. There should be consequences. The fact that these students chose to denigrate the Catholic faith should be just as offensive as if they had made a racist statement or acted out against atheists. Some of these vicious acts will receive more outcry, and that just shouldn’t be. Because the team whose religion was mocked acted graciously and did not publicly condemn the other team, the story made very few local headlines. It did, however, manage to make the news “across the pond.”

I will be the first to admit that I have made poor choices. I have said things I wish I could take back. I have done things I am glad were not made public. But, I’ve also been called on the carpet. What I’ve learned is that an apology must be that – an apology. It mustn’t come with a caveat wherein you support your action and feel bad that someone else was offended. If it is offensive, it is offensive. Own it, apologize and take action.

But most of all, the lesson learned from this is:  accept the apology and move onward. Life is full of crosses. Pick up yours and press forward.

Be the Marshmallow!

 I did something new this week. I made marshmallows – from scratch!

They were dangerously yummy – I had to share with neighbors, my parents, pretty much anyone I could.

These soft, white sugar puffs were delicious. Like the crisp, clean snow outside making everything underneath it a beautiful sparkling white, the marshmallows made everything sweeter.

The winter can be bleak and long here in the Midwest. Honestly, sometimes my soul feels like a reflection of that. There are times when I know I’ve said the wrong thing, yelled at my kids, messed up dinner for my husband, not had time to clean my house and felt like a failure.

A tiny marshmallow can sweeten a mug of hot chocolate. It starts small, but it disperses throughout the dark cocoa and eventually the white sugar takes over and creates a tempting, warm drink that your lips can’t refuse.

So it is with our souls. I am thankful that God’s mercies are new each day. I have the great gift of being able to start again, because what may start as a small bit of kindness in the morning snowballs into a wonderful day. A little bit of sweet really can do that!  (But, unfortunately, the reverse also is true!)

In my own home, I have to remember that a touch of honey in my words sparks love and action. My children are young and their spirits are gentle. It is a constant reminder to me that I need to be in charge of my family’s attitude. If I sense frustration and discontent, I need to search inward to see if I am acting with grace and love. If I am not, I need to be the marshmallow – sweeten up my words, give some more hugs and kisses and change the attitudes in my home – because, like the marshmallow, a little bit of sugar can go quite a long way.

BE THE MARSHMALLOW!

February 2nd - Happy Groundhog Day!

Today is Groundhog Day. It isn’t something a lot of people talk about – unless your town is the setting for the blockbuster film of the same name.

I’ve written before about how our little town, during the tree lighting, makes a visitor feel as though he surely has walked onto the set of a Hallmark movie. Groundhog Day, too, is one of those surreal holidays.

I walk into the local bookstore and am greeted with, “Happy Groundhog Days!” Coffee enthusiasts waiting in line at the local Starbucks smile and ask, “Are you going to the Chili cook-off?” And, the storyteller who just made your kids laugh with a talking banana walks up to you on the street, acknowledges that he saw you and your kids at his performance and says, “Thanks for coming out and supporting me – and, hey, have a great Groundhog Day!”

My friend who owns the local inde bookstore said that Groundhog Day is special because no one needs to buy a gift, rush around or worry about hosting anything. This is just a fun holiday where everyone is happy. Usually, the sun is shining – which, if you live in the Midwest – is kind of exciting after months (and months) of gray!

So, we get up before the sun, don our snow pants, hats, scarves, coats and mittens, bring breakfast in the car and head up to the center of town.

This year, Groundhog Day followed the snowpocolypse. There was a luster of shiny, new fallen snow glistening across the town square. The snow piles were mountains rising up in the middle of intersections next to historic brick buildings. The sun shone on neighbors and friends alike making their smiles that much brighter. Our groundhog saw his shadow – and whispered as much to the local dignitaries and professional groundhog handlers. This means, according to Mr. Groundhog, that we will be hunkering down for six more weeks of winter – or so the legend goes.

I think it mostly is the sense of community here that draws us in. It is comforting, and silly, and nostalgic – all at the same time.  It reminds us that in the midst of our sometimes-brutal winters, we have made it to the halfway point. We see friends we haven’t seen in a while and we laugh about the Groundhog Day Prognostication and just how many people come … Every. Single. Year.

Happy halfway-through-the-winter-point!