'Courage is almost a contradiction in terms ...'

G.K. Chesterton said, “Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.”

This quote speaks to my heart. So often, we are called to stand up for the things that we believe in – but very rarely are we called to die for what we believe. The men and women who serve our country believe so strongly in her, that they take the job.

On Memorial Day, we honor those who have lost their lives while in service to our country. Some served willingly; others dutifully served because their number was called.

For those of us who, like me, have not endured the horrors of war, have not set foot on a battlefield, have never known the fear juxtaposed to bravery, we will never understand that sacrifice. However, we are called to remember and honor those who have.  Our country is built not only on the bravery of those who have fought for our country, but also on the courage of the men and women who have given their lives in sacrifice.

Memorial Day speaks the raw emotion that Gold Star Families and military brothers and sisters do not dare to express. The flag ceremonies, the speakers, the 21-gun salute, the organizations that put flags on gravesites – so many of those healing, cathartic moments have been cancelled this year.  Our town usually displays military uniforms with honor in the windows of our local shops. Not this year.

This year, a year ravaged by Covid-19 fears and shelter-in-place orders, might have torn down our traditions, but it has not tempered our reverence for those who have given their lives and for the Gold Star Families who feel their loss daily.

As we take in the fresh air and, perhaps, wear clothes other than pajamas this weekend, please do not forget that this day is to honor those men and women who paid the ultimate price. I know far too many Gold Star parents who have lost sons and daughters in service to our country, and one very incredible Gold Star widow who lost her husband. They carry on their children's names and their husband's with dignity and with grace. They live their lives in service of their own – remembering the heavy price their family has paid.

To the many men and women whose courage lives on even in death … the phrase, "thank you" feels much too insignificant for a gratitude that is felt so deeply.

To the families and military brothers and sisters of those taken too soon … my heart aches for you, but I admire the courage you demonstrate each day. I thank you for never letting us forget your son, daughter, brother, sister, father, or mother.  Your tears do not go unnoticed. Thank you for persevering – so that your loved one’s story does not fade away.

“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.” –Unknown

"Children too are a gift from the Lord ...": a Mother's Day Reflection

“Children too are a gift from the Lord ….” Psalm 127:3

Focusing on the blessings today!

Motherhood is a mixed bag of emotions.

Fear, unworthiness, joy, overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration, and LOVE.  As mothers, we experience all of these and more – often in the same breath.

I was so terrified when I came home with a tiny, precious infant that I was left to keep alive and teach and nurture. I had been used to teaching high schoolers whom I lovingly referred to as my children. They could talk back. They could tell me what they needed. They could write essays. This little infant was completely reliant upon me. And that was frightening.

But we aren’t in this thing called motherhood alone. We grow our circle and we become more confident and we learn and we bend and we break and we make mistakes. But we love more than anything in this world.

I was so blessed to have amazing role models in both my mother and my mother-in-law. They were God-fearing women who respected and loved their husbands, who stayed home to raise their children, and who nurtured these little tiny babies into adulthood. I cannot be more thankful that God gave me these wonderful women to learn from.

I also had incredible peer moms to look up to. I was the first of my core group of friends to become a mom, so I had to navigate this on my own. My next door neighbor became my go-to. Her children were a few years older and they were so well-behaved and respectful that I looked to her for advice in the mundane. Moms from church, moms from a homeschool group, moms from the neighborhood, and my own children – they all played a role in defining my role as a mother.

I’ve had plenty of hot-mess mama moments, and I’ve worked hard and prayed harder. My house has been a disaster and my house has been spotless. I’ve cried and I’ve rejoiced. I’ve made awful mistakes and I’ve yelled and I’ve made bad dinners, but I’ve also given hugs in the midst of the mess, been kissed even after I’ve yelled, and we’ve found something edible in the occasional dinner disaster.

I’ve sat in the confessional, weeping, feeling like the worst mother in the world, only to have my parish priest tell me … “That woman in Proverbs 31 … it doesn’t say that she does everything every day!” Oh, how my heart felt better!

I’ve had the most supportive husband by my side, and I’ve learned through so many peer mama-friends what being a wife and mother really means. I’ve taken Philippians 4:8 to heart – to set my mind on the things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and worthy of praise.  

I constantly work to keep that in focus ~ and, as a photographer, this makes sense. You focus on the beautiful and, with a wider aperture, the distracting imperfections become blurry – so blurry, we hardly notice them anymore. We become more focused on the blessings – and part of those blessings is this crazy, messy thing we call life.

I am blessed – so incredibly blessed.

This Mother's Day we are supposed to be sheltering-in-place. Also, it is currently snowing. So, there aren't any fun outside photos of flowers and sun - you'll have to enjoy inside-the-house, winter-ish looking photos for today. Although, in the bottom of this photo, you can see my new spring-like, Pioneer Woman coffee mug from my children! I am using it now.

Inside that box was a new mop! I asked for one -- and my husband found a winner! I can't wait to wash the floor <3