Reflecting on loss ... Joe Kersten

Just before Christmas, I learned that a friend had passed away. 

It has been hard to think about what to say as there have been a number of difficult things in the last month -- a dear friend’s son had brain surgery, my young neighbor/friend had a total hip replacement, another friend is about to have surgery, and another has been very ill. So, this unexpected loss was hard for me to process – and I know it has been for so many others.

I met Joe many years ago while I was working on a story about Gold Star Plaques created by McHenry County VietNow for families of those who were killed during the Vietnam War. He and I took photos of the plaques and I worked with another Vietnam veteran (who eventually became one of our family’s best friends) to search the world for homes for these decades-old plaques. 

Many veterans – particularly Vietnam Veterans – don’t appreciate a reporter stepping into their space, but Joe welcomed me. Maybe it was because the other man vouched for me or because he knew the types of articles I had written, but, either way, Joe became a steadfast partner in crime in all things veteran-related.

He would let me know what was going on in the veteran community. He shared information regarding the American Legion, the VFW, and the Veterans Assistance Commission. He gave me leads and made certain that I knew who was who in local government.

More importantly, he was a friendly face in a crowd.

In the midst of Memorial Day events, Veterans Day events, and the McHenry County Fair, he was the first to come up to me with, “Trish! It’s good to see you.. hey, nice article on …,” and he would flash a big smile and give me a hug. Very few people call me Trish … Joe was one of them.

His wife, Di, was always by his side. The two of them always – and I mean always – smiled for my camera. They joked with me, but they’d smile … and it made me smile, too – because, no matter what, I knew they would play along with whatever shenanigans were going on. 

This is Joe realizing I've been
 photographing him!

This year, on Veterans Day, I snapped a lot of photos. For some reason, Joe was doing camera-worthy things, and Di was by his side. I took a lot of photos of him and Di. I even used an image of him as my FB cover photo for this page -- and I never changed it.

A month later, I was devastated when a friend texted me to say he had passed away. 

The Chairman of the Veterans Assistance Commission, Joe served in the U.S. Army during Vietnam, and spent much of his time serving the veteran community. He served as adjutant for VFW Post 5040, secretary and president of VietNow McHenry County Chapter, adjutant and vice-commander of American Legion Post 412, and founding and returning chairman of the McHenry County Veterans Assistance Commission. He truly lived a life of service to his country, his family, and his military brothers and sisters. 

Joe, I will miss your smile. I will miss the way you genuinely cared for others. I will miss the way you so passionately fought for veterans. I will miss the way you and Di welcomed me with open arms. I will miss the warmth of your personality and the way you cared for others. And, I will miss the texts that told me that you appreciated an article I wrote or told me that I did a great job covering something or that you texted just because. 

I sought your wealth of local military and community history for many an article. As my go-to, this feels like such an abrupt loss. The stories you shared with me will never be replicated. And, knowing how much I will miss you, my heart aches for Di and your family and closest friends as they navigate this journey without you, but take with them the love, the kindness, and the passion with which you set out to live this life. Your mark will never be erased – it will live on in the many lives you’ve touched.

I will miss you Joe, and so will this beautiful community that we live in. Thank you for taking me under your wing, for trusting me, and for always having my six ;)

… until we meet again ….