Catholic Wedding Photographers, Do Not Despair

Catholic wedding photographers, do not despair.

 

I am a Catholic. I love a Catholic wedding. I love photographing Catholic weddings. I know that I am not the first photographer to shoot a wedding Mass during this pandemic, but this weekend was my first after a season of cancelations.

 

Photographers, our clients rely on us. We carry a lot on our shoulders. We keep the wedding day on track, we step in when needed, we calm nerves, we fix hair, we make connections, we smooth over family disagreements, we focus all of our attention on the details of the day, and we stay as inconspicuous as possible. While so many elements of wedding photography have changed, these remain the same.

 

Prior to the wedding, The Diocese of Rockford returned every call and answered every question. St. Thomas the Apostle worked tirelessly to ensure our safety. They provided us with the map to safely navigate this new era of weddings.

 

Photographers, I encourage you to attend the rehearsals of your clients. There were so many details that were discussed and then changed in the moment. Things looked different. Safety precautions were still in place. Masks were worn. Hand sanitizer was strategically placed. Face shields were worn. The sacrament of marriage was still the focus.

 

Our priests, deacon, and acolyte wore proper PPE. The consecration of the Eucharist was still powerful.

 

Guests in attendance wore masks or face shields to receive the Eucharist. They still received the Eucharist.

 

Our photos looked different. We had less time to take certain shots.  We still took beautiful photos.

 

Yes, this wedding looked different, but, I promise you, the wedding was still impactful. The bride and groom were united in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.  No one had forgotten how to behave during the most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

 

We took several photos outside in order to not spend as much time inside a closed space, and volunteers came in to clean and sanitize the church.

 

So, Catholic wedding photographers, do not despair. Your photos are a journalistic observation of the time. You are experienced and you will adapt and overcome. You might be wearing a KN95 like me and have to make sure your eyes are smiling to reassure your bride or groom. You might have to work a little harder to connect with the littlest participants. You might have to repeat what you say more often because your voice is muffled, but, rest assured, your photos will be beautiful. Your photos will capture moments of holiness. Your photos will be cherished.

 

 

Brides and Grooms, remember the meaning of this day and celebrate the sacrament. The rest is, well, icing on the wedding cake.

Happy Birthday, America

Fourth of July

I am filled with so many emotions during this 4^th of July weekend.  I am so blessed to live in this country where our freedom was purchased with the blood, sweat, tears, and, too often, lives of the men and women who have sacrificed so much so that others might live.  I think about the strength of those who put their names on the Declaration of Independence. I think of the men and women who gave their lives in service to keep our country safe and free. I think of the men and women today who answered when their country called and who live with visible and invisible wounds of war.  And I am so grateful.

Patriotism is about believing in our nation. It is about knowing that, despite its faults, it is a nation that people clamor to get to – crossing oceans, leaving families, changing lifestyles. It is a nation that is full of opportunity. It is a nation full of promise -- a country that, over the last four months, has shown great care and support for its citizens and who has demonstrated that the freedom of speech that men and women have died for is still upheld.

That freedom comes at a heavy cost.

I wrote an article recently about United States Army Specialist 4^th Class, Donald Eugene Dermont Jr. A 1963 Woodstock High School graduate, Dermont enlisted in 1964 to serve his country, receiving his basic training at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio, Tex., serving in Germany, and the re-enlisting to go to Vietnam.

Spc. Dermont was a medical aidman with Company C while it was engaged in “fierce” battle according to military documents released to the family. In reading through these documents, it was clear that the posthumous awarding of the Bronze Star Medal with a “V” Device for heroic actions was not given lightly.

The documents indicated that Dermont exposed himself to intense Viet Cong fire so that he could take care of those already injured. During this time, he must have noticed that a machine gun was left unarmed – a machine gun that he took up to use to protect his company. The military deemed this action “instrumental” in helping Company C hold steady during the assault. He then went back out to attend to the wounded before finding it necessary to occupy that machine gun once again. He went back and forth until he was fatally wounded.

The government document stated that Dermont displayed, “extreme courage and dedication,” and that he, “gave his life in the defense of his wounded comrades during the second assault. He made the supreme sacrifice so that others could live.”

Stories of bravery from those who serve give me pause.  This man – the teenager – gave his life for his country – for our country. For 244 years, men and women have died for our country. I am so proud to be an American. I am thankful every day. For the freedoms we have in this country, for the rights we have, for the democratic republic we live in, I am thankful.

Happy birthday, America.

'Courage is almost a contradiction in terms ...'

G.K. Chesterton said, “Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.”

This quote speaks to my heart. So often, we are called to stand up for the things that we believe in – but very rarely are we called to die for what we believe. The men and women who serve our country believe so strongly in her, that they take the job.

On Memorial Day, we honor those who have lost their lives while in service to our country. Some served willingly; others dutifully served because their number was called.

For those of us who, like me, have not endured the horrors of war, have not set foot on a battlefield, have never known the fear juxtaposed to bravery, we will never understand that sacrifice. However, we are called to remember and honor those who have.  Our country is built not only on the bravery of those who have fought for our country, but also on the courage of the men and women who have given their lives in sacrifice.

Memorial Day speaks the raw emotion that Gold Star Families and military brothers and sisters do not dare to express. The flag ceremonies, the speakers, the 21-gun salute, the organizations that put flags on gravesites – so many of those healing, cathartic moments have been cancelled this year.  Our town usually displays military uniforms with honor in the windows of our local shops. Not this year.

This year, a year ravaged by Covid-19 fears and shelter-in-place orders, might have torn down our traditions, but it has not tempered our reverence for those who have given their lives and for the Gold Star Families who feel their loss daily.

As we take in the fresh air and, perhaps, wear clothes other than pajamas this weekend, please do not forget that this day is to honor those men and women who paid the ultimate price. I know far too many Gold Star parents who have lost sons and daughters in service to our country, and one very incredible Gold Star widow who lost her husband. They carry on their children's names and their husband's with dignity and with grace. They live their lives in service of their own – remembering the heavy price their family has paid.

To the many men and women whose courage lives on even in death … the phrase, "thank you" feels much too insignificant for a gratitude that is felt so deeply.

To the families and military brothers and sisters of those taken too soon … my heart aches for you, but I admire the courage you demonstrate each day. I thank you for never letting us forget your son, daughter, brother, sister, father, or mother.  Your tears do not go unnoticed. Thank you for persevering – so that your loved one’s story does not fade away.

“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.” –Unknown

"Children too are a gift from the Lord ...": a Mother's Day Reflection

“Children too are a gift from the Lord ….” Psalm 127:3

Focusing on the blessings today!

Motherhood is a mixed bag of emotions.

Fear, unworthiness, joy, overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration, and LOVE.  As mothers, we experience all of these and more – often in the same breath.

I was so terrified when I came home with a tiny, precious infant that I was left to keep alive and teach and nurture. I had been used to teaching high schoolers whom I lovingly referred to as my children. They could talk back. They could tell me what they needed. They could write essays. This little infant was completely reliant upon me. And that was frightening.

But we aren’t in this thing called motherhood alone. We grow our circle and we become more confident and we learn and we bend and we break and we make mistakes. But we love more than anything in this world.

I was so blessed to have amazing role models in both my mother and my mother-in-law. They were God-fearing women who respected and loved their husbands, who stayed home to raise their children, and who nurtured these little tiny babies into adulthood. I cannot be more thankful that God gave me these wonderful women to learn from.

I also had incredible peer moms to look up to. I was the first of my core group of friends to become a mom, so I had to navigate this on my own. My next door neighbor became my go-to. Her children were a few years older and they were so well-behaved and respectful that I looked to her for advice in the mundane. Moms from church, moms from a homeschool group, moms from the neighborhood, and my own children – they all played a role in defining my role as a mother.

I’ve had plenty of hot-mess mama moments, and I’ve worked hard and prayed harder. My house has been a disaster and my house has been spotless. I’ve cried and I’ve rejoiced. I’ve made awful mistakes and I’ve yelled and I’ve made bad dinners, but I’ve also given hugs in the midst of the mess, been kissed even after I’ve yelled, and we’ve found something edible in the occasional dinner disaster.

I’ve sat in the confessional, weeping, feeling like the worst mother in the world, only to have my parish priest tell me … “That woman in Proverbs 31 … it doesn’t say that she does everything every day!” Oh, how my heart felt better!

I’ve had the most supportive husband by my side, and I’ve learned through so many peer mama-friends what being a wife and mother really means. I’ve taken Philippians 4:8 to heart – to set my mind on the things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and worthy of praise.  

I constantly work to keep that in focus ~ and, as a photographer, this makes sense. You focus on the beautiful and, with a wider aperture, the distracting imperfections become blurry – so blurry, we hardly notice them anymore. We become more focused on the blessings – and part of those blessings is this crazy, messy thing we call life.

I am blessed – so incredibly blessed.

This Mother's Day we are supposed to be sheltering-in-place. Also, it is currently snowing. So, there aren't any fun outside photos of flowers and sun - you'll have to enjoy inside-the-house, winter-ish looking photos for today. Although, in the bottom of this photo, you can see my new spring-like, Pioneer Woman coffee mug from my children! I am using it now.

Inside that box was a new mop! I asked for one -- and my husband found a winner! I can't wait to wash the floor <3 

Time Out

I was finishing up a book by Kathryn Whitaker: Live Big, Love Bigger.

Yesterday, as I wrapped up chapter nine, I was riveted.

Kathryn was teetering on the edge of postpartum depression after the birth of her youngest child. In an effort to bring calm to her life – and to her family’s life, she and her husband decided to institute a moratorium on all extracurricular activities for six months – everything.

She said the, “drastic detox was brutal.”

She also said that friends and neighbors offered to take kids to sports practices and help out with babysitting, but she and her husband continued to fast from the craziness of life. Then her ten-year-old said, “I’m kinda glad I’m not playing baseball. I was feeling stressed out.”

And she knew they had made the right decision.  

I thought about how, really, we are living this decision unintentionally. Yes, there are essential workers who are in the workforce and out, but, for the vast majority of us, our children are not involved in athletics or clubs or any outside activities. We are nestled in our homes.

There certainly are challenges – there are families where this is a safety issue, where parents are unable to feed their children, where adults are out of jobs, where domestic abuse lurks under the quietness of homes. This is not a rosy experience for all of us.

But for me, this has served as a time of contemplation.

Normally, we are a busy family. We homeschool. My husband and I work. Our children are involved in youth activities, clubs, figure skating, and church. Our family volunteers with various organizations and church committees. We stopped everything cold turkey. Just like Kathryn and her family.

At first, it was claustrophobic. I was used to going out – all the time. Though we didn’t go out to eat very often, the thought that the opportunity wasn’t there was unsettling.

We homeschool, but our lives look much different today than it did four weeks ago. My husband is working from home; he is no longer taking our daughter to figure skate at 5:20 a.m. My girls, used to skating three to four hours a day, have been home … all day … missing friends, missing coaches, missing activity. My meetings have been moved to Zoom.

At first, it was, as Kathryn said: brutal.

But, as the time has passed, our life has fallen into a rhythm. And it is no longer a rhythm of: hurry up and finish this assignment because we have piano in 20 minutes and then we have to do history before we leave for the rink. – And grab your math books because we need to finish that on the way.

Now, our days look different. There is a breath of fresh air on most days. My husband is home more – and we are connecting more as a family. Our girls are playing piano and being creative with our keyboards. They are sewing and playing volleyball and drawing. I used to teach at a local Catholic high school, and they are offering virtual adoration at noon. We often tune in. They are participating in Mass … from our couches. 

As we get closer to the end of isolation, my hope is that, instead of fear, my children remember that for a season, we grew together, we helped others, and we pulled together. We snuggled more. We did school together. We learned new things. Yes, sometimes we left to take friends to emergency doctor appointments or to go to work (I work in the news business, so I have been out) or to grocery shop, but we didn’t make frivolous trips. We learned to make facemasks. We stayed at home. And we helped keep others safe so that we could help the many medical professionals who are working tireless to help those who are suffering.  I hope they remember that we physically distanced in order to stand together -- united as one nation -- as one world.

Oh, and life also continued to happen as usual for many – I was able to catch some of these local farmers prepping their fields and planting – preparing for the future, and bringing us hope.These brown open fields will soon be teeming with the little, green sprouts of life.

As the seeds deep beneath the darkness begin to emerge as shoots of green, I hope you, also, will continue to open your soul to life in the light once again.

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

Sass Farms

From the inside looking out .... at Sass Farms

To follow this farming experience: visit The Millennial Farmwife on Facebook!

Holy Week -- Joy in the Midst of a Global Pandemic

“Be strong and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6

This is a challenging time. I’m torn every day about how I feel about how life has changed over this global pandemic.

I am scared. I have friends who work in the medical field, and they are under insurmountable stress. In Deuteronomy 31, Joshua is chosen to take Moses’ place because he is willing to risk his life to do what is right.

There are doctors and nurses who are risking their own lives as they save others. I am so thankful for them – and those words sound so insignificant in light of the great battle they are fighting for us.

And we are scared -- collectively.

With so much uncertainty, it is hard to have hope, but this scripture gives me hope. God marches with us – in this battle, God is marching with us – marching with those on the frontlines, and marching with those who are staying home, and marching with those who are working to heal.

God will never fail or forsake you.

How much joy is there in that! Kathryn Whitaker writes in her book _Live Big, Love Bigger_, that Stephen Colbert has a note affixed to his computer with the phrase: Joy is the most infallible sign of the existence of God.

Can we find joy in the midst of a global pandemic?

We can.

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. We watched a live-stream Mass on our television. It was strange. But it was also familiar. The familiar Gospel reading, the alignment of our cross to Christ’s, the recognition of the greatest act of love… it was so many emotions wrapped into one.

There is so much uncertainty right now. There is sorrow for the loss of life. There are friends dealing with real crises. There are healthcare workers who are mentally drained and tirelessly working to save lives. There is mourning for normalcy. But there are also moments of deep joy.

In the midst of COVID-19, there still is joy. It is in birthdays celebrated, moments shared with family, facebook posts that keep us connected even while distant, texts that make us smile, and phone calls that encourage us. There are chalked sidewalks and bike rides and nature walks. And there is hope in the empty tomb.

While my family and I walk this Holy Week, we will experience joy, fear, agony, grief, and hope – all in one week. And, in this, Christ gives us permission to feel all of those emotions at the same time. For even when there are darkest hours … there also are moments of light.

In the midst of the juxtaposed emotions, my girls and I snuck over the chalk my parents' driveway. We miss them so much, but we tried to brighten their day a bit before the rain. Joy ... in the midst of a pandemic.

Homeschooling During a Global Pandemic ...

While much of the nation embarks on a school-from-home journey, some of us have been homeschooling for years. But this stay-at-home order affects us, too.

You see, even though the curriculum and our course of study remains the same, our lives also have been uprooted. For us, specifically, my girls often figure skated twice a day. They were in 4-H. They have volunteer experiences. One girl is an altar server at Mass. Things are so very different.

My husband also is home now. And that changes the dynamics as well. I have been working from home as a writer and photographer since my oldest was a baby. One of the great blessings has been that they have become used to entertaining themselves while I was interviewing people – whether it was through play, schoolwork, or chores. Now that Daddy is home, it is easy for them to run to him while I’m working, and we have to recognize that now Daddy is working, too – even though he is home.

Though homeschooling is definitely a sacrifice – and it is stressful (I’m thankful that my degree is in education and my husband is a college professor and that I have the liberal arts covered and he can handle math and science), I am thankful that we can keep our children’s lives as normal as possible.

For those who are embarking on e-learning – I have family and friends who are teaching this way and having to adapt just like you and your children are.  Just know that, as I’ve read others say, this is not what homeschooling is like. We have support groups and social activities and friends who do group learning and other parents who walk the walk beside us. They help us and guide us, too!

For example … after years of using the same history curriculum, a friend suggested that I try a different one. I was a teacher. I was pretty committed to using a brick-and-mortar school curriculum that was offered to homeschoolers. But I was intrigued. I looked at the curriculum, tried out a lesson or two, and immediately called our advisor. This was what I’d always felt homeschooling should be like.  So, after the advisor evaluated the program, she gave us the go-ahead to use it.

We now study history as a family with The Good and The Beautiful. We all learn the same basic core – our entire family. My youngest does worksheets that accompany the core study that I teach to them. There are group activities and craft projects that we do together. My oldest does the junior high worksheets that might have an activity or a more in-depth study of the topic we studied. There are even games we play as a family! We would play them when my husband came home so we could all be engaged.

This week, we were studying the constitution. The girls were really enjoying it, so we did a couple of lessons – and we spent more time on science and religion the next day. That flexibility is what works for us – and, during times like these – when our family is working together – having one subject that we do together is a blessing.

So, we will all muddle through this – and we will all support each other. Rest assured, even experienced homeschoolers are having to do things differently. We are not used to being so alone. Call your friends, encourage your children to make the best of this, stay connected, and stay home.

Wishing you joy and peace on this journey – whether you are now doing school at home or navigating homeschool under different circumstances.  Be well, stay healthy, and stay safe.

~T

Morning coffee, leftover silly sentences, and the beginning of the U.S. Constitution unit.

Making parchment paper with a little tea and some coffee.

Discussing the branches of government

Articles overview

Wrapped parchment.