Sunday, June 26, 2016

Life Lost, Love Remains

This weekend I was honored to take photographs at a beautiful military funeral for a life well-lived.

A friend lost his father. He lost the man who cared for him growing up, who inspired him when he encountered difficult times and who eventually relied on him during the last year of his life.

I think we all know this circle of life – we all come into this world with nothing. We all leave it with nothing. What we do in between ~ how we live our life, how we treat others, how we lead with our heart, how we love ~ that is what remains, whether we are on this earth for a relatively short amount of time or a long amount of time.

But no matter how many years one spends on this earth, for the person who loves the deceased, that time never is quite enough.

Yet we continue to honor their lives through the way we live our lives. We keep their memories alive by telling their stories, by living the values they taught and by following in their faith-filled footsteps.

The funeral was beautiful. The gentleman who passed away served in the Army Air Corps during WWII. The ceremonial flag folding, the 21-gun salute, Taps … all of it was incredibly powerful.

It made me realize how few military funerals I have attended. And, though I personally didn’t know this brave combat veteran, I cried.

I cried because I can’t imagine being engaged in combat. I cried because the world lost a hero in his passing. And I cried because a man lost his father, and a father left his son.

But I also cried, because a man went to be with the Father. And his faith was strong. And he is home.










Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Thirteen Years, my dear!

Thirteen years ago, my husband and I said, “I do.”

We said, “I do,” to:
            ~ love
            ~ dreams
            ~ children
            ~ supporting each other
            ~ being steadfast
            ~ making decisions together
            ~ embracing the future – good times and bad
~ forever

Almost sixteen years ago, when we started dating, John and I were not the same in every way. We didn’t have all of the same likes and dislikes. We didn't have the same life experiences. We didn't have the same friends. Our differences drew us together, but it was our similarities in the important areas that kept us together. 

But we don’t enjoy the same things we did when we were dating, either.

Our interests might change, but love never does.

Love can look different in different times in our lives.

I remember being young and in love and staying up too late to eek out a few last minutes with this amazing man I met.

I remember driving with his family across the country for his doctoral graduation – when I hadn’t really known them all that long. I was scared and nervous, but I was happy to be there to support him.

I remember him being excited for me when I got my first teaching job.

I remember getting married and being young and naïve and worried about everything that went into planning that wedding day.

I remember going to Oshkosh for EAA Airventure for the first time … even though I don’t like airplanes – or camping.

I remember thinking life was pretty grand.

And then we had children, and I remember love looked a lot like, “I love you so much that I will stay up for three hours in the middle of the night to play with the baby so you can sleep,” and “I love you so much that I will change this dirty diaper for you,” and “I love you so much that you can go to Mass by yourself today so you can actually listen and I will stay home with the screaming baby,” or "I love you so much that I will let you sleep in while I handle the baby AND make coffee."

Then the kids got a little older and love looked a lot like two crazy people trying to make the best out of hectic schedules and carefully planning who will go where and which parent will take which child and how do we make time to spend special moments with our own small family, our extended families and our friends.

Now love is all of that as well as helping to support each other’s dreams.


I am so thankful that thirteen years later, our love is even stronger! Happy 13 years, dear!


This guy took dance lessons with me for this day!

He was so good to me ~ no cake in my face!
This is one of my favorite photos from that day! 

Where this marriage began ~ with my brother-in-law (one of several) by our side ~ kneeling on the steps of the sanctuary.

At Christmas one year at my in-law's when John had facial hair.

This family we've created.
A rare date-night at a book-release party last year for Josh Stevens!
Outside the church/schoolhouse where we have our homeschool enrichment. Oh, yeah ... that keeps us pretty busy, too!
Us ... thirteen years of marriage, two little girls and what seems like a lifetime later! Love him more than ever!




Sunday, June 19, 2016

Fatherliness and Father's Day

Fatherliness is different from fatherhood.

Fathers who are fatherly are incredible men.

Fathers who are fatherly bring strength and security to their children.

Fathers who are fatherly are role models, heroes and leaders.

I know that not all fathers are the epitome of such stoicism, but, by and large, I think all fathers desire to be fatherly.

Fatherly fathers aren’t perfect, none of us are. Fatherly fathers are vulnerable, imperfect and capable of making mistakes.

I have a hard-working and fatherly father. He was dedicated to his career and was – and still is – dedicated to his family. I remember him flying in from business trips to come to  Father/Daughter Dances. I have memories of him at volleyball games, piano recitals, opera house performances. Even as an adult, he came to see me run a local race and was there to cheer me on at the finish line. He loves us unconditionally. He provided for his family and continues to guide our family in faith.

My father-in-law is gentle, strong, caring, loving and a great fatherly father and grandfather. I didn’t get to grow up knowing him, but I watch him with our girls. I saw him in the delivery room holding his granddaughters for the first time. I hear stories, and I know … he is a good father.

My husband is a good fatherly father. He works hard, and then he helps watch the children so that I can work – not because I have to, but because I really, really want to. I’ve been given an amazing opportunity as a second career, and he is such a good husband and father that he supports me by taking care of the children during the times I need to be away.

 He was great when the children were infants – he knew more about babies than I did! I couldn’t have done this thing called parenthood without him. I still can’t! I am thankful that he takes a leadership role in so many decisions.

Now that they are older, he takes our oldest to ice skating practice and encourages our youngest as she works hard on her speech lessons. He takes our oldest to Oshkosh for seven days! He snuggles with our youngest and reads stories – even if they happen to be about ballet and fairies and princesses.

He is an excellent role model of what my daughters should look for in a husband. He is faithful to God, loves his children, honors his parents, respects mine, is strong and courageous and also is gentle.

I am proud of my father, my father-in-law and my husband.

I am thankful for all of the fatherly men in my life, for there are so many to whom I look for guidance and courage. They need not be family, but they are, indeed, a blessing in my life – their experience, their kindness, their support and their willingness to share their lives to broaden mine – I truly am thankful for all they are.

For those of us who might not have strong father-figures in our lives … we need not look farther than our God – who loves us perfectly, despite our imperfections. Who stands by us, no matter how often we might turn our backs. Who gives us strength and grace that can only come from Him, no matter how much pain or how much hurt we must overcome.

But, I want to thank you, fatherly men, who take care of others, who respect those to whom you speak, who stand up for those who are weaker, who comfort those who are hurting, who forgive when you have been hurt and who give others hope when they are hopeless. You are fathers – whether you have children, have lost children, have never had children or have lost touch with your children. You are fathers, because you represent strength, character and goodness.


~ Men, embrace your opportunity to be fatherly ~

My husband, being an awesome Dad.

My Dad doing the grandfather thing.

My mother-in-law and my father-in-law. The two rarely are apart!



My Dad being a supportive daddy even when his baby girl is all grown-up!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Noise

I’ve been listening to Kenny Chesney’s new song, Noise.

What truth he speaks, er, sings! ~ We are surrounded by noise: music, news, children, phones, Facebook, online news apps, really, just about anything to keep us from our own thoughts.

As a busy home-schooling mom, with young ones whose voices cry “mom,” several times a minute, who freelances and who longs for silence, that quiet time alone is a hot commodity.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, I love my job and I love being my children’s teacher, but sometimes the yearning for that silence – that uninterrupted time with my own thoughts and alone with God in prayer – is strong.

The other day I took a photography class with Lara Joy Brynildssen Photography at Arlington International Race Track. There was some music playing in the distance, some conversation and some instruction, but also there was time with just my camera and me.

Whether standing at the fence peering through the lens or watching by the gate marveling at the strength of these horses, I enjoyed that time.

My phone was tucked away, I was alone with adults, I had time to just sit and be mesmerized by this creation ~ and to look even more closely through the magnification of my lens.

The very next day, my friend took me to the racetrack again. He and his service dog, Gander, embody the essence of selfless love. To watch them work together is to watch the delicate perfection of balance and selfless concern for one another. Again, no phones, no music, no noise … just quiet observation and inspiration.

It is in those moments of peace that I have time to sort out the events of the day, the week, the months, the years. It gives me the opportunity to reflect on my faults, my missteps, the things I should have said or done. And it helps me see the goodness that surrounds me – the simple acts. It helps me remember the grandmother who sat beside us at brunch who told me our girls were well-behaved. I remember the woman who played with my five-year-old in front of the library making her burst into a fit of giggles. I remember the high school girl who took the time to play with my girls and be a role model to them. None of these people knew just how much of an impression they made on me ~ and served as an example.

There is goodness all around. There is beauty in racehorses, service dogs and people. There is hope … we just need to shut out the noise for a little while, observe and open our eyes to it.