Life is fleeting; reckless kindness

We don’t know when we will take our last breaths. We won’t know when the person who means the most to us will be taken. We merely must trust in the plan and live with kindness, knowing that life is fleeting.

This week, I have been consumed with grief. My best friend’s mother passed away rather unexpectedly. She was a woman who never was afraid to speak her mind. It never bothered either of us that I was Catholic and she was Jewish. She loved her grandkids, and it was over children that most of our conversations were spent. This weekend, I attended her memorial service. To see my friend in such pain and to not be able to do anything but hold her and sit with her was heart-wrenching. As the traditional Jewish Mourner’s Kaddish was prayed, there was an emphasis on the legacy left behind. There is a legacy. There is a legacy in her husband, in my friend and in my friend’s children. Her legacy lives on.

Last week, during the intermission of a truly delightful musical, my husband learned his aunt had passed away. My husband has a large family, and, as so many large families find, as the extended family expands, the gatherings become fewer. When my husband and I were young and dating, I remember a large gathering of aunts, uncles and cousins at my future mother- and father-in-law’s home. I remember meeting (for the first time) his aunt who was so lovely and kind. We didn’t see each other often, but I will always remember her smile ~ that smile lit up the entire room. It was incredible and genuine.

Seeing her family, her husband, her five children, her dear granddaughter … I know they are hurting, but there isn’t anything to say to them. There is nothing that can ease the pain of this loss. This family walked the walk of faith alongside her. They lived this summer with passion and courage, and they stood by her in her last moments. Tonight, they gathered together – strong, courageous and broken. Amidst the brokenness, this wife’s – this mother’s, this grandmother’s – courage and strength will live on. I saw it in the faces of her children, I felt it in the arms of her husband, and I experienced it in the eyes of her granddaughter. She will live on in each of them, and it is her love and her smile that will flourish long after these days of mourning pass.

And then a dear friend from theatre and the skating rink lost her beloved mother. Her wake and funeral still lies ahead. I never knew her mother, but I know my friend. And I know this loss also is devastating. But this friend was given the opportunity to care for her mother, to comfort her and to be the hands and feet of Jesus to her. We are not all given those opportunities. Sometimes loss is sudden. But my friend, she was the caretaker for her mother for quite some time. She was the epitome of a loving daughter. She balanced work, personal life and care-taking with grace. She made promises to her mother, and she kept them. In her, I see goodness and steadfast faith.

So, with a heavy heart, I remember that life is fleeting. Like the hummingbirds that flit here and there with a heightened sense of urgency, we must live our lives with that same hummingbird sense of urgency.

In the midst of deep sadness, in the midst of tears, in the midst of these deep-rooted faiths, I have witnessed women whose lives were lived with love, passion and courage. Their legacies live on.

Inspired by their love, passion and courage, I am reminded to live my own fleeting life with joy and to live this life with kindness ~ the sort of reckless kindness that pushes you to check on others, to reach out to assist those you don’t know, to smile at the people whom you do not know, to ask the difficult questions of those whom you do know and to do the difficult deed of being there when the being is difficult. 

Be kind ~ be recklessly kind.