Paczki Day

 

It is a weird name for a day: Fat Tuesday or Paczki Day.

I get the traditional implications -- we have 40 days of fasting from something  (or adding something to our daily life) ahead of us if you are a Lent person.

Growing up in a Polish family, Paczki was a thing. I remember that glorious day when my mom would order a once-a-year bakery box of those deliciously jelly-filled donuts sprinkled with powdered sugar and just begging for consumption after dinner.  

Thankfully, in the throngs of raising babies, my mom continued to order them -- and deliver these sweet treats every year.

Somewhere along the way, there were forgotten orders, which made me wonder if I could make them myself. So I looked up some recipes, and I baked them myself. Because, I'm kind of stubborn like that.

It has become a tradition now -- and the kids look forward to my baked Paczki, perhaps even more than the bakery variety. This year, we filled them with seedless black raspberry preserves, and I made custard to add as well. I have this preserve/custard inserter thing that I have no idea where I might have acquired it, but it is pulled out religiously (haha) every Monday before Ash Wednesday to add that wonderful filling to this baked pastry that we all enjoy without really even thinking of the concept of Fat Tuesday.

It is, rather, a fun thing to do with my girls before we embark on this journey of Lent. I enjoy this season because I can almost taste the sweetness that comes at the end of this period of desolation. 

For me, the Paczki represents that celebratory time when all is well in our faith life and things just seem to go as planned and the jelly is that bonus day when our faith radiates and we have no doubt. Ash Wednesday, though, is the start of the drought. None of us are immune. There are times when the shadows of life cast doubt on the faith I cling to during the difficult times. There are moments when my fear overshadows my belief. There are days when I find myself struggling to pray. There are mornings when my coffee doesn't get me through my morning devotion. And then... one day leads to another and another and another ... until that one day, when something calls me back -- not to the faith, I've never lost faith, it is just hard to lean into sometimes. It calls me back to the practice. The daily practice of drawing in to Christ.

It's a hard fall -- from Paczki to "You are dust and to dust you shall return." It's a hard fall from living on the adrenaline of a strong prayer life to struggling to find the motivation to pick up your Bible. But we all go through it. And, tonight, we celebrate that spiritual high -- the sweetness and the richness of filling our lives with joy just like we stuff that Paczki full of jelly.

Happy Paczki Day, ya'll!