... because every life matters

A year-and-a-half ago, our neighborhood suffered an unspeakable tragedy.

It affected each of us in very different ways, but we were all changed forever – some of us began thinking about the safety of our children and asked the uncomfortable questions we never asked before about what items were in our neighbors’ homes. Some of us began to worry about the other neighbors. Some of us felt our own guilt. Some of us were just thankful for our own family members.

I felt guilt.

At our neighbor’s wake and funeral Mass, I was overcome with grief, but I also was overcome with guilt – guilt that I didn’t see the pain this man was facing - guilt for not realizing that by dropping his daughter off at my home, he was trying to deal with his depression the only way he could and, to keep her safe, he was putting his daughter in the hands of others.

I had been angry, feeling as though I was being taken advantage of because we homeschooled and were home. I asked the gentleman if he could please wait until after 1:30, so that we could have time to finish school for the day. He would be at my door at 1:30 with his daughter and then just leave – and never once would come to check on her. Sometimes I even put a sign on my door saying that we couldn’t play that day. Now I wonder how many times he stood on my doorstep and read that sign.

It was frustrating.

But now, I am remorseful.  I don’t blame myself for what happened, but I do wish I had seen the signs. I wish that I had taken the time to be a better neighbor. I wish I had invited this man to dinner. I wish I had dropped off some baked goods when I knew he was alone.

I didn’t.

This changed our small neighborhood and I think we are all a bit more like a family.

There is a learning curve in life.  When my babies were very small, I didn’t do a great job of reaching out to neighbors. I was overwhelmed with taking care of my kids and my husband and surviving sleepless nights, toys on the floor and massive piles of laundry.

Then God threw in this event across the street. It caught me off-guard and hit me full-force.  This was the moment I needed to start acting more like Christ to those outside of my family.

Last night, our neighbors came over for an impromptu game night and dinner. We stretched our dinner for four to make room for eight. It was easy. And it was fun. My neighbors are awesome. I need to do this more often.

Tonight, I am making a double-batch of apple bread. We went apple-picking not that long ago and had many apples to spare.

One of my neighbors is hurting.

I am learning. This time, I will be at their door.  I will have apple bread. And, I will be asking how they are doing and if there is anything else I can do for them – because every life is precious. And every life matters.