Life Lessons

There has been a controversy in our town. Our small little city made international news because a poor choice became public fodder for the Internet. I have a few thoughts on this:

I     I feel bad for everyone involved in this controversy: the Internet makes nearly everything we do public. Social media outlets allow small indiscretions to live in the fishbowl of the world. I feel for the people whose names are associated with this controversy – particularly the adults who will have this follow them throughout their careers.

2    An apology should always be sincere: I don’t think that something sounding similar to, “I am sorry that you were offended by what we did,” is an actual apology. The athletic director could have taken this truly offensive situation, apologized sincerely and let these girls come out shining. The team could have gone as a group and apologized to the other team or the principal. The headlines would have been so much different. I can imagine a world that hailed the AD for truly instilling a sense of respect for others and lauded the team for their efforts to ameliorate the situation instead of broadcasting what appeared to be blatant disrespect to the other team’s faith.

3     We all make mistakes: Not a one of us is mistake-free. It is unfortunate but also part of our new reality that so many of these are easily recorded in the virtual memory we call the Internet. It is important to remember that we all are human, but that we all are coachable – with good leadership and proper guidance.

4    No one should get a pass: While it isn’t OK to publicly shame those who make poor choices, no one should get a pass for crudely demeaning others. There should be consequences. The fact that these students chose to denigrate the Catholic faith should be just as offensive as if they had made a racist statement or acted out against atheists. Some of these vicious acts will receive more outcry, and that just shouldn’t be. Because the team whose religion was mocked acted graciously and did not publicly condemn the other team, the story made very few local headlines. It did, however, manage to make the news “across the pond.”

I will be the first to admit that I have made poor choices. I have said things I wish I could take back. I have done things I am glad were not made public. But, I’ve also been called on the carpet. What I’ve learned is that an apology must be that – an apology. It mustn’t come with a caveat wherein you support your action and feel bad that someone else was offended. If it is offensive, it is offensive. Own it, apologize and take action.

But most of all, the lesson learned from this is:  accept the apology and move onward. Life is full of crosses. Pick up yours and press forward.